In the realm of mental health, the advice that is often shared about what to do tends to overshadow the equally important counsel about what not to do. Our mental health is just as much about avoiding certain habits, thoughts, and actions as it is about embracing healthy ones. Despite the growing awareness of mental health issues and the importance of self-care, many people still unknowingly engage in behaviors that exacerbate their emotional well-being rather than improve it. Sometimes, the road to healing and stability isn’t about adding more practices or routines but eliminating the behaviors and thought patterns that undermine mental well-being. In this article, we explore several things you should avoid in the pursuit of better mental health—practices that, contrary to popular belief, can actually work in the opposite direction of your goals for mental well-being.
1. Avoiding Your Emotions
One of the most common and counterproductive behaviors people engage in is the avoidance of their emotions. It’s tempting to suppress or ignore negative feelings, whether it’s sadness, anger, or anxiety, in the hopes that they will disappear on their own. However, experts in psychology and mental health, such as Dr. Brené Brown, emphasize that emotional avoidance leads to a buildup of unresolved feelings, which can manifest as stress, depression, or even physical ailments. Suppressing emotions doesn’t make them go away—it intensifies them over time, making them more difficult to address.
Instead, practicing emotional acceptance is crucial. By allowing yourself to feel emotions as they arise and understanding that these feelings are a natural and essential part of the human experience, you can avoid the cycle of emotional repression. Accepting your emotions, without judgment, allows you to process them in a healthy way, promoting emotional resilience.
Actionable Tip: When you feel a strong emotion, take a moment to pause and acknowledge it. Instead of pushing it away, ask yourself what it is trying to teach you or what need it’s pointing to. You can then find ways to work through it, either by talking it out, journaling, or simply sitting with the emotion without reacting immediately.
2. Overcommitting Yourself
In today’s fast-paced world, there’s a pervasive belief that more is always better—more work, more activities, more responsibilities. But experts in mental health, including psychologist Dr. David Ballard, argue that overcommitting yourself is one of the fastest ways to erode your mental health. Taking on too many obligations can lead to burnout, anxiety, and feelings of being overwhelmed. Many people have trouble saying “no,” either out of a desire to please others or a fear of missing out, but overcommitment often leads to physical exhaustion, stress, and the neglect of self-care.
Instead of overloading your schedule, learning the art of saying no is crucial to preserving your mental health. By prioritizing what truly matters to you and recognizing your limits, you allow yourself to focus on your well-being. Setting boundaries is not only a way to safeguard your emotional energy but also to ensure that you can give your best to the commitments you do take on.
Actionable Tip: Take time to assess your current commitments and reflect on what is truly essential. Practice saying no or delegating tasks when necessary. This will give you more time to recharge and engage in activities that nourish your mind and body.
3. Relying on Instant Gratification
In our digital age, instant gratification has become all too common, from scrolling social media to binge-watching shows. While these activities may provide temporary relief or pleasure, they don’t contribute to long-term mental well-being. In fact, studies show that relying on instant gratification can lead to an increased sense of anxiety and dissatisfaction. The constant need for immediate rewards creates a cycle that makes it difficult for individuals to delay gratification or engage in activities that require sustained effort, such as exercise, goal-setting, or self-improvement.
Instead, experts recommend embracing delayed gratification, which requires self-discipline and the ability to tolerate discomfort for the sake of achieving something meaningful in the future. Research by psychologist Walter Mischel, known for his famous marshmallow test, highlights how the ability to delay gratification is strongly linked to better mental health outcomes and greater life satisfaction.
Actionable Tip: Start by engaging in activities that require focus and patience, such as learning a new skill, reading a book, or working on a long-term project. Rewarding yourself for progress, rather than instant pleasure, will build a sense of accomplishment and long-term satisfaction.
4. Isolating Yourself
Another habit that people often fall into when struggling with their mental health is isolating themselves. It may seem natural to withdraw from others when feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed. However, research shows that isolation only exacerbates feelings of loneliness and increases the risk of depression. The human connection plays a critical role in emotional well-being, as social interactions help reduce stress, provide support, and foster a sense of belonging.
Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a prominent researcher in social connections and health, has found that loneliness is a greater risk factor for early death than smoking or obesity. Conversely, maintaining strong, supportive relationships can improve overall mental health, increase happiness, and provide a buffer against stress. Regular social interactions can also provide an opportunity for perspective, encouragement, and emotional release.
Actionable Tip: Even if it feels challenging, try to stay connected with others, whether through a phone call, a coffee with a friend, or even joining an online support group. If you feel like withdrawing, gently push yourself to engage in small social interactions. These connections will help you build resilience and maintain a sense of community.
5. Perfectionism
Striving for excellence is one thing, but perfectionism is a toxic mindset that often leads to stress, anxiety, and burnout. Perfectionists set unrealistically high standards for themselves, fearing failure or judgment. However, the pursuit of perfection can often result in feelings of inadequacy and a constant fear of not measuring up, even when significant achievements have been made. Experts like Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on self-compassion, emphasize that perfectionism can undermine self-esteem and hinder personal growth.
Rather than striving for perfection, adopting a mindset of progress over perfection can significantly improve mental health. Allowing yourself to make mistakes, learn from them, and focus on incremental improvements is far healthier than clinging to unattainable ideals.
Actionable Tip: Start by setting realistic goals and focusing on progress rather than perfection. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, and practice self-compassion when things don’t go as planned. Remind yourself that mistakes are opportunities for growth.
6. Ignoring Your Physical Health
The mind and body are inextricably linked, and neglecting one often affects the other. Mental health professionals, including Dr. John Ratey, author of Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain, emphasize the powerful connection between physical activity and mental health. Regular exercise is one of the most effective ways to improve mood, reduce stress, and boost cognitive function. Likewise, poor diet, lack of sleep, and sedentary behavior are closely tied to mental health issues such as anxiety and depression.
Taking care of your body is not just about looking good—it’s about fostering a mental state that supports resilience, focus, and emotional balance. Healthy habits like regular physical activity, proper nutrition, and adequate sleep are foundational to maintaining mental wellness.
Actionable Tip: Prioritize physical health by engaging in regular exercise, eating balanced meals, and getting enough sleep. Even small changes, like taking a daily walk or cooking a healthy meal, can have a significant positive impact on your mental health.
7. Focusing Only on Negative Thoughts
When faced with challenges or adversity, it’s easy to fall into the trap of focusing only on the negative aspects of the situation. Constantly ruminating on what’s wrong or what could go wrong reinforces feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. Experts in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) suggest that this negative thinking pattern can be counterproductive to mental well-being. By constantly focusing on negative thoughts, you inadvertently reinforce them, creating a cycle of negativity that can lead to anxiety, depression, and stress.
Instead, cognitive restructuring—challenging negative thoughts and replacing them with more balanced, realistic perspectives—is an effective way to break the cycle. Learning to identify cognitive distortions (like catastrophizing or overgeneralizing) and replacing them with positive affirmations or solutions-focused thoughts can significantly improve emotional resilience.
Actionable Tip: Practice mindfulness and cognitive reframing techniques to counter negative thoughts. When a negative thought arises, challenge its validity and replace it with a more constructive or realistic thought. This helps shift your mindset and fosters a more positive outlook.
Conclusion
When it comes to mental health, sometimes the most effective strategies are about avoiding the habits and behaviors that harm us. From suppressing emotions and overcommitting ourselves to isolating from others and succumbing to perfectionism, these seemingly benign actions can significantly impact our emotional well-being. By avoiding these pitfalls and replacing them with healthier alternatives, such as emotional acceptance, setting boundaries, and engaging in self-compassion, we can create a more resilient and balanced mindset. Mental health is not just about adding more to our lives but also about removing the obstacles that hinder our growth and well-being. By consciously choosing to avoid these counterproductive behaviors, we can pave the way for a healthier, more fulfilling life.
